I hope someone sees me as someone worth loving.

i miss you so much i’m sorry i pretended not to recognize you the last time, i’m scared of the idea of coming back and us falling apart again. i think i’m baños of you and the way you seemed to forgive me so easily.

I'm allowed to be sad too, but I don't think people understand that.

i go on dating apps every now and then in search for genuine love. i don't know if i'll ever stop feeling like a monkey performing for a zoo.

When I was a kid, the future seemed so distant. Like I wouldn't even reach it. Then I blinked and now I'm living in it. I just want to be a kid again, it's so lonely here.

"How can you tell if the world has ended or not? It comes down to the weather. As long as there are clouds in the sky, wind in the air, and leaves stirring in the breeze, as long as the weather exists, the world hasn’t ended.”

I was never afraid of death, maybe part of it was because I have always dreamt of dying early. I remember planning my life, at the age of 8, I have planned my life. I'll be in college by 18, probably will adopt a child and thrive to success, then by 30 I'll die, that's it. But now, I'm 21, still very much single and a very proud tita to my little awesome nieces and nephews... I guess death isn't scary but life's not so bad as well, sometimes when you learned how to live, living isn't as bad as I thought it was. Stay alive, folks. Learn to live :)

i wanted you to tell me—and actually mean it—that you got us. that when i was breaking up with you and telling you how drained i was, you’d have said you can carry us out of it while i pick myself up.

i miss you sooooo much, even though you treat me like a stranger

I wonder if I will ever get the love that I have been longing

I'm now 24yo and I'm regretting every decision i made for the past 8 years. I just wish I could go back from the past. I don't want to feel this anymore.

To my boyfriend, I love you, so much that I am scared that one day you will just slip away from my arms.

I don't feel safe in any place anymore

He battling with cancer right now, the only best thing that i can do is to support him to his ups and downs. I’m afraid that i may lose him, but i know that God won’t let that happen.

It still hurts even it happened 3 years ago… Betrayal does changes a person, but I felt like I didn’t. I still have a soft heart for people who were bad to me. I still love him and we’re still together [as bf/gf]. He did change, but until when will consistency last?

sana dapuan ng karma ang ex ko kasi sinira nya ang pagtingin ko sa pagmamahal

I love him so much, but i’m to shy to admit it

in the words of Jack Twist— “ I wish I knew how to quit you. “

Moving forward yet always left behind

helj

I was hurting, but i acted like it was nothing to me. But it's really painful that i felt like i died again and again. I felt so empty.

I'm transgender. I still have so far to go before I can actually start transitioning and coming out but I have so much on my plate I needed to say it, even to just a stranger.

im very sorry for what i did to you there is no excuse, not even that i was just a kid even tho the childhood was very harsh on me, on us. i hope one day we ll be both open enough to have a talk about it and see what we ll do from there. i don t even know if you remember anything, but i do, and it s eating me up every single day

The careless monster I am is a result of years of being ignored and pushed aside because what I said wasn't important to you. I will never lose my voice though as it is mine and without my voice who am i?

Can I just say na mahal na mahal ko yung girlfriend ko. Sobra excited na akong tumanda kami nang magkasama. Excited ako sa lahat ng bagay

I don't know if I have the strength to keep going. I don't want to disappoint anybody but my body and mind are tired and I feel hopeless about my future

Im sorry, my efforts aren't enough for you

i think i loved you. like really loved you. like it makes me hate you how much i loved you. you

I wish you knew how hard I tried to love you. I wish you never walked away. Part of me died that night and I don’t know if it will ever come back to life. Sometimes I still miss you.

this will be the last time that i will talk about them, nor try to think about them. i think its time for me to let go of those wonderful memories that i know myself will never come back. everyone had already outgrew me and i think that’s the end of this friendship with them. it was a wonderful year spent with them, and i’m forever grateful to have friends like them. i hope they do win in life cause i’ll be rooting for them. and i hope they find peace and harmony in whatever they do. thank you all.

i just want someone to carry my burdens for once because i couldn’t go on any longer. everything hurts. staying alive hurts

I never told this to anyone kasi I feel like maj-judge ako kaya I keep it to myself. I had this ka-mu, sobrang tagal namin (he's my first love btw). I met him when I'm in second year hs tapos we separated from each other when we are in our third year hs tapos dahil separated at nalayo sa isa't-isa, lumayo din yung feelings until ayon nawala na ng tuluyan. Now, matagal na since nagkahiwalay kami and meron na rin akong bagong manliligaw pero he has a lot of red flags tapos di ko maiwasang icompare sya don sa ka-mu ko dati. Before nung kami pa nung ka-mu ko para akong baliw kapag hindi ako nakakatanggap ng physical touch from him pero ngayon sa manliligaw ko halos gusto kong sumabog kapag hinahawakan nya ako, naiilang ako. I'm mad to myself kasi bakit gan'to ako? I thought I already moved on kaso mukhang hanggang ngayon sya pa rin. I'm mad to him (ex mu) kasi hindi nya tinupad mga promises nya, totoo pala talaga yung "promises is the greatest lies". Gusto ko na rin patigilin yung manliligaw ko kasi ayokong masaktan sya sa nang sobra kaso I don't know where to get the courage to do it, natatakot ako. Please tell me what are the things I should do? I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to hurt anyone.

It physically hurts me how you can just act like "we" never existed.

i don't know what to do in life, i feel lost. all i want is to live happily with peace and freedom

I am not worthy of the pain I feel for hurting you

I really thought I was just changing and growing up to finally become my true self after you passed. Now I'm starting to think that I'm just afraid of seeing the person you loved so much in the mirror, the person who died that day and was buried with you

I hate that everybody thinks their intellect is above average when the reality is that they almost certainly ARE the average, and the average is a terrifyingly low standard nowadays.

I want to thank my grandfather for showing up for me in so many ways that I didn’t see until we lost him last August. My dad left when I was 2 and my mom has bi-polar disorder, untreated. I want to tell my parents I love them both and know they did the best that they could, and for that I forgive them. I also want to tell them that the hurt and neglect they caused me will always hold so much of my energy, my heart and my outlook on life. I will continue to try to be better, see things better and love better than they were able to towards me, their only daughter. Thank you for reading.

You broke me in a way I didn’t think you could and I built myself back up.

When I was a kid 2 boys played a prank on me of who I would start liking and dating first, I fell for it. Right now, anytime someone starts liking me, I think it’s all just a funny joke played on me. When the feelings get deeper, I start pushing guys away, because I don’t want to be hurt the same way I was before. I hurt one too many because of that

Every time I get my period, I feel like I'm gonna die. I know it's just because of the NDE last year (2022) from TSS/sepsis, but still....about every two weeks I get an overwhelming sense of dread and fear, like I need to make peace with everything because I'm going to die, even though I logically know I'm not. It scares the hell out of me, and it makes no sense considering I fight off suicidal ideations at least 1-3 times a week. I'm in a situation that's actually healthy, loving, happy, yet I'm almost overwhelmed with the thought that this upcoming period is going to be my end, and I don't know how to get out of this mindset...I'm just so scared....

I feel like you’re staying because I’m the convenient option

Salamat sa buhay mo tay! Kahit di kita tatay irl i feel like meron akong tatay na gets ako, through social media kahit di pa kita nameet noon hehe.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me. little things that don’t go as i planned makes me feel like it’s the end of the world. it feels like i’m hitting rock bottom every week. it hurts. it hurts even more knowing that it will take time to feel better. it’s been 3 years living with depression. i’ve lost plenty of opportunities living my teenage life. now all i can think about is how life is going to be harder every year.

gustong gusto ko na magmahal, at mahalin din.

I don't feel like a human being. I just learned how to act like one.

Thank you for everything, Pa.

I wanted you to notice the things I stayed silent about.

I feel like the sun, but I'm burning too bright, too hard, and too fast.

I hate seeing you happy without me. Why couldn’t you be like that with me.

The last two years of my life feel like a complete waste due to someone that wasn’t prepared mentally to be in a relationship. Work on loving yourself before you attempt to love and rely on another person.

i really wanted that job badly. i may act im fine but im not

I still love him pero pagod na ko masaktan. Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa kanya kailangan ko ilubog sarili ko.

people would say that my life should not revolve around my history of abuse. i totally agree. but sometimes it really just finds its way back into me. i wouldn’t say it defines me as a whole but i also wouldn’t say it didn’t affect me at all. i’m wounded to the core.

Why is it always the good person who hurt the most?

I have always believe in you ever since we were kids. You've always been special. Not everyone is going to hurt you and leave, learn to embrace your vulnerability too. Even if you pushed me away, I will still be here to support you from the distance. Wala ka nang kailangan patunayan, Dom. You're doing well. Hope you get your fuel back. Cant wait to see you ignite once again. 🤍

hello taytay! TY FOR MAKING ME FEEL SEEN AND NOT ALONE (other peeps here was same w my situation also) u healed me in different ways ! i love ur art work sm ♡

i can’t feel anything anymore. i think there might be something fundamentally wrong with me.

i was in a car accident with my girlfriend a couple of days ago. the car hit my side and i was hurt way more than her. the only thing i was concerned about was her and if she was okay. i had no idea i was even hurt until she pointed it out

How I wish we had talked more and been more honest with ourselves. That one year of our relationship made me realize how lonely I truly am and how much I needed you. I really wanted us to grow old together, but as philosophers say, some things are meant to come to an end. Please forgive me for all my shortcomings and for the times I failed to truly understand you. Despite everything, I hope you are happy now. -jc

When you spend all day speaking to me I feel immense comfort and admiration and when you're gone I feel like someone took out a chunk of my soul. You're nothing less than my muse. Stay.

They tell me I'm a funny & whimsical person, but why do I feel like I'm the most depressed person in the world?

i hate how they take advantage of me because they know i would do anything for them.

I'm terrified that no one will ever try to save me behind this walls

why does what they call "unreciprocated" love become ordinary for me? i would like someone, confess to her, and would lead to me moving on.

I’m so tired of begging people to care about me. Why am I so hard to love?

The other day my significant other got blackout drunk and told me that other women can do better things for him. And I have never felt so alone in my life in that moment. He swears he doesn’t remember saying it. But it broke my heart and I’ll never forget it. I don’t think I can forgive him.

How can I say to my family that I was sexually abused when I was a kid by someone they treated as a family.

For my entire life, my mom chose that she wants me to pursue medicine, it has always been her choice. Not mine.

There's zero reason for me to hold on to you. You add no value to my life. No emotional support, can't love me right... You're not even funny anymore. I just feel so sorry for you, that no one seems to want to take you in.

I love watching my friends succeed and accomplish their goals in life, I’ll never stop cheering for them. But I can’t help but think “when is it gonna be my turn” sometimes.

i would rather die remembering the things I shouldn’t than remember none of them at all

Impulsivity is something I struggle with immensely. It’s hard to accept that people fell victim to my behavior. I’m sorry.

I grew up too fast. I started working at 12. Was on my own at 16. I was told I would never amount to anything, and I chose a path early on that reflected that. So I worked construction, then in my mid 20's I applied myself and got a Masters Degree. To prove a man wrong that told me my entire childhood I was fat, stupid and would never amount to anything. At 43, I was diagnosed with heart failure in 2021. My cardiologist gives me 5 more years before I have a massive heart attack. I am 45 now. I wish I would have lived more. traveled more, and had memories more than working so hard to prove something to a person I haven't seen or talked to in 30 years. I keep saying I am fine with dying, but I want the next few years to be the best. I am so lost now, because I want to live more, in a shortened span of time. I regret trying to prove to a person that I was worthy. When the entire time, I already was.

I think im pushing away everyone who cares about me and I don’t know how to stop

How I wish we had talked more and been more honest with ourselves. That one year of our relationship made me realize how lonely I truly am and how much I needed you. I really wanted us to grow old together, but as philosophers say, some things are meant to come to an end. Please forgive me for all my shortcomings and for the times I failed to truly understand you. Despite everything, I hope you are happy now. -jc

and if the world forgets how love should feel, i'll remember you. -🌻

is there something about me that makes people just want to hurt me? if not, why does it keep happening? it must be something about me, right?

I don’t regret standing up for myself & saying how I felt. But sometimes, in my weaker moments, I regret that it changed so much between us.

Please hear what I am not saying.

- I'm sorry, promise babawi ako - 'Wag na - Ha? Why? - Hindi mo naman ginagawa Paulit-ulit mong sinabi ang “babawi ako,” na para bang sapat ang mga salitang iyon upang tahiin ang mga luhang ikaw rin naman ang lumikha. At ako, sa bawat pagkakataong marinig iyon, ay muling naniniwala— kahit alam kong ang pag-asa ay matagal nang unti-unting namamatay sa aking dibdib. Hanggang sa dumating ang araw na hindi ko na hinintay ang pagbawi mo. Sapagkat napagtanto kong ang tanging bagay na mahusay mong binawi… ay ang mga pangakong minsan mong ipinangakong hindi mo bibitiwan.

I care about our friendship more than you think.

dear mom, i used to over hear dad yelling at you over the phone because he felt like he had to force you to call me and check in. that made me feel so unwanted.

i hate you for cheating on me but i love you so much it makes my heart hurt. i hate that u did it again, and again, and i hate that i still love you

ma, pagod at nasasaktan din po ako.

I’m with another person, and i’m happy, but I don’t know why i still cry every time I think of you

Everyday, I just feel like my whole body is in auto mode. I’m not even trying to think anymore and just let my body do its thing.

When he was 14, and I was 13 he fell in love with me. After 4.5 years of relationship I moved to a different country and he started doing drugs, after doing long distance for 3.5 years we broke up. Its been 2 years since we broke up and I still love him. I have never in my entire life have seen a guy so loving, caring as him. He showed me what true love is, he made me love myself, yet he was the one who broke my heart into million pieces. It fascinates me so much to realise the guy who has filled my heart with so much love ended up breaking it. Now he moved to the same country as me, but no matter how much I love him I can never go back to him because I have seen him totally change in those years when he was a drug addict. I can never trust him again but I will forever love him. He wants me to come back, but I can’t risk another heartbreak from the same person.

my life’s purpose had become to prove to myself that i’m not a waste of space

nakakatakot na hindi ako kamahal mahal

you are a narcissist, a self centered, and a hypocrite b—it disgusts me :)

I wish people would stop taking advantage of my mental disabilities which cause me to overlook the bad in people. I wish I had true friends. I wish I wasn't this lonely all the time.

i wanna be independent too, but how? when all i hear are judgements and denial

I had to learn to unlove you.

Kung sarili ko lang iniisip ko, graduate na rin sana ako.

Some nights I look at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling and am afraid of dying in my sleep.

I'm sorry I can't love you the way you deserve. I feel physical pain when thinking about breaking up with you and hate myself for making you feel this way. I wish I could evaporate so I could never hurt anyone again. It's just my fault. I don't know what I'm looking for. Sorry I wasted your time.

i hope you'll see how much you mean to me, despite everything

The strongest soldier is now at her weakest.

I'm sorry if I wasn't able to give you my best, when you were able to give yours.

i wish my grandad never killed himself. i wish my mom never got depressed. i wish i never had to see my mom attempt suicide. i wish i never had to parent myself cause my mom was too depressed to show up for me because my grandad killed himself. i wish i wasn't angry at him. i wish i wasn't scared i'm gonna have the same faith as he did. but it i'm honest i don't know who i would be without all the pain so maybe the only thing i wish is that my mom never had to feel the pain she did.

I was worth a better goodbye.

My family doesn’t know I tried to take my life 3 times in a week. I’m so glad I was given another chance at life. I’ve been the happiest I have ever been in life.

at this point in my life dying isn't sad anymore its more crucial decisions to stop affecting everyone around me especially myself because i cant control it anymore, my state.

I'm afraid of moving on for the greater good and what's scary is that I don't even know why I feel guilty for doing so.

I debate taking my own life more often than ever in my 30’s. I’ve been told I’m worthless and a waste of air by the person I loved the most.

Fantasy ko today ay makasal sa Minor Basilica of San Sebastian in my early 30's nang walang nakakaalam tapos yung wedding photoshoot namin magaganap sa Binondo(Wong Kar Wai inspired)tapos iaannounce lang namin yung kasal after three months kasi mag hohoneymoon kami dalawang buwan sa mga bansang pinangarap lang namin puntahan before.

At this point, I’m not even sure if I really love you or I’m just used to having you around.

You deserve friendships that don’t make you question your place

to my sebhastian, i love you always

I think I fell in love with you. Or I got played I can’t tell. I always think I’m going to be able to protect myself but can never see the red flags. I hope you were honest about a possible future together. You pulled away just when I started to really feel something for you. Anyway, for now, everyone seems to want me except you.

You deserve friendships that don’t make you question your place

i hate that i never get to choose someone i truly love because im stuck in a cycle

I think about getting old and wrinkly and looking back at pictures of my brother and he'll still be forever young

i never know if protecting myself and my peace means telling someone to stop talking as their words send me into spiral or continuing to listen so i won't have to deal with conflict

I pray that someday we both heal from the things that caused us pain. I’m sorry, Rieve. I truly loved you, and I know I hurt you in ways I never intended to. But there was never someone else. I never loved anyone the way I loved and cared for you — even until now. No other person ever took your place. But I also know I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Love shouldn’t leave someone hurting this much. I loved you in the best way I knew how, even when it felt like you never really saw or appreciated it. I had so much respect, patience, and grace for you that even your flaws could never lessen the love I was willing to give. I kept adjusting, understanding, and holding on… but somewhere along the way, I started losing myself too. I know you’re hurting, but being hurt shouldn’t mean treating me like this. Love isn’t supposed to feel this painful. And even after everything, my love for you is still here. I just hope you heal from everything weighing on your heart. And if my presence only adds to your pain, then maybe leaving is the kindest thing I can do for you, just so you can finally be happy again. Maybe one day, I’ll also find the kind of love that feels gentle, safe, and appreciated. Until then, I’ll keep loving you quietly from afar and carry it in my heart until it no longer hurts this much.

I want to say so many things that I don't know where to start.

I miss being expressive and fearless about my feelings. The world didn’t just break my trust, it stole my voice.

when we both where at our worst, we saved each others lives

You cannot do everything all at once. Do your goals one step at a time. It might take a while, but at least, there's a progress.

i wish you loved me too it's been 5 years and you never said back

I feel like my mom hates me. We have similar features and I used to usually get a "you look and sound just like your mother" from everyone that knew her. I always took it as an insult since she is a very toxic and abusive person, but she would too. She hated and hates being compared to me saying that we have no similarities and changing the subject to my younger sister. I feel like she hates my existence. She publicly humiliates me, insults me, hits me, neglects me... the list goes on. I'm not mad at my younger sister, I could never be, it's not her fault. Still, I wish she could understand that the only reason she doesn't remember going through any of that is because I would be so overprotective of her when we were younger that I'd voluntary take her punishments instead. I'd piss off our mom to get her attention out of my sister and put it on me. I'd get the yelling, the hits, the silent treatment... and I'd do it again without thinking twice. It's one of the only things I'll always be proud of, but to think that I was just a kid forced to grow up makes me sick.

I wish i would have known that loving you meant i possibly couldnt love anyone else, because you didnt even love me back. Now im stuck with all this love and no where to go

i didn’t deserve the things i went through but i wish you would’ve told me that growing up. Because the child you neglected will always yearn for the love of a mother that she will never get and i hate you for that. you will never understand the pain you put me through, lucky for you, but i will always feel it even when i don’t want to. because my purpose on this planet wasn’t to “make you a mother” or “save your life,” my purpose is to live and i don’t even know if i can do that. i’ll never forgive you. love always, the daughter you wished you never had.

you said it was all on me and I believed you. I still do

Lecture less and listen more.

the passion i have for dancing is something my parents couldn't understand, i want to join on dance class but the problems are lack of supports from my family

im just so tired. nothing seems to work and im just done.

I’m sorry I hurt you so much I just didn’t know how to love myself first

my father is a child molester and i will never forgive him for what he did to me and my half sister. today he is a free man with custody of my half brother. everyone says that forgiveness is the first step to healing from trauma but i will never forgive him. i walk around with all of this anger and all of this pain while he walks around with no weight on his shoulders. i wish this world wasn’t so unfair. no one understands what it was like to have to choose to never see your father or his side of the family (who chose to support him) ever again when you’re just 8 years old. no one understands that what he did still affects me to this day. i feel like an alien. i wish he was dead.

Please stay longer until im ready to let you go.

i just hit 200 days sober. i never thought i would make it. congrats to me.

I keep chasing after a happiness that i’m starting to think i’ll never reach.

ma, pa, di ko na po kaya im sorry.

I am so much wasted potential :/

ikaw lang naman ang gusto ko eh. kaya ko namang nasa tabi mo habang naghheal ka sa mga problems mo in life. pero bakit kailangan mo akong bitawan?

“I guess some questions are better left unanswered.”

Sometimes when I’m about to sleep I keep thinking of all the words I should’ve said.

sometimes i think i’m over it all, healed. but then i see something that reminds me of my mom and i get angry all over again. i think that will happen for the rest of my life. especially if i have kids of my own and wouldn’t ever imagine abandoning them. maybe it will always hurt.

i originally bought that necklace for you. i kept it. then lost it and cried. but maybe i was meant to lose it. maybe i had to leave it like i had to leave you.

Everyday I think about reaching out to you, because I miss you. Yet, i stop myself because my heart cannot take one more heartbreak from you. I truly love you and I hope one day you’ll come back.

I loved you loudly, even when I was scared you wouldn't love me back the same way. I tried to make it work in every way I knew how. And now I keep wondering why all that love still wasn’t enough to make you stay.

i miss you so much but i can't do anything to bring you back, you have your own family now and here i'm still doing my best to have a better future but it sucks knowing that you'll never be part of this future that i'm working on.

i’m still grieving the person i once was and i am wasting the present living in the past

Am I unlovable, unlikeable and just another speck of dust in this universe? That I don't matter?

After all the struggles, I thought I knew how to swim. As times goes by, I am still drowning in parts.

What wouldn't I do to stop feeling guilty about everything I do and ending things in my life.

I knew you liked me then but I was confused with my sexuality and the world. You have such a beautiful family now but I still think of you and all the what if’s. I hope you think of me too.

i hate that i never get to choose someone i truly love because im stuck in a cycle

i still dont know if i deserve the love that i am receiving right now. what if they dont really want me? what if they wake up one day and decide that they dont want and love me anymore? i'm afraid that i will just accept it and move on, like i always do, because i think, i dont deserve that kind of love. the hurt will probably linger for a long time, but, i'll be okay. i'll probably build up a tougher and higher wall that no one can barge in and climb up and just be alone forever.

You will never know how much I cared, and I think your ok with that. That’s what kills me.

We just broke up and i know its for the better because they were never going to treat me the way i deserve it, but it hurts so much to let go

I’ve become nothing. I am afraid to accept that this is my reality and to that I am alone. I'm afraid to accept that I'm not important. I don't feel like anything matters anymore. I just want all the pain to end.

I hope one day I can say I’ve healed from the things that quietly broke me that the past no longer aches within me, and that the pain I carried never became the making of who I am. I hope I become someone who can look back without falling apart, and move forward without the weight of old wounds following me everywhere.

I'm so different now and I dont recognize myself because of the mistakes I've made

I've invested so much guys, disregarded myself to be that friend that is constantly present but here I am doubting and questioning the pain and self-doubt you left me. It still pains me, no matter how much I try to help and better myself. Crying ain't enough.

I still grieved my versions of myself while living with the new version of myself today.

Why am I always the one who's left behind by everyone?

i hate you for what you did, but i don’t hate you

carpe diem, i miss you.

i don’t think na love bombing lang lahat. it was pure, i’m sure. pero if ever our souls are intertwined again sana nga mahirap na siyang i-break :) but i hope ma realize ko na my greatest love is also my greatest pain.

he went from the one i love and my best friend to someone i don’t even talk to in one day. and that sucks

I’m tired of constantly being told to “be mentally tough.” I’ve pushed myself to endure everything for so long that I didn’t even realize I was already invalidating my own feelings. Now, all that suppressed exhaustion and pain is catching up to me, and it’s affecting me both mentally and physically.

WHY IS LIFE SOOOO HARDDDDD

why do i have to feel like a complete stranger in my own home, ive grown up being the lonely child with no emotional support from my parents. they’ve always think that i can manage myself cause im the oldest sibling, but ive always wanted to have someone who can say “are u okay?”—someone who would check on me to see if i still want to live, someone who will understand me. i just wish my parents were better for me :D

As much trauma I feel I’ve overcame and reflected on to move forward, and as more keeps piling up that I try my best to be mature about and get through to become a better person, I think at the end of the day I’m still the same scared little kid who’s lost.

I'm hurting too, but I chose not to tell you.

I never said goodbye how I wanted. I look for you everywhere I go. Please look for me too.

i know it’s been more than a decade since we broke up and you are now happily married. but it feels so unfair feeling stuck, having to fight the feeling of not being “enough” every single day. and it’s all because you’ve cheated on me when all i did was do my very best not to give you any reason to doubt my love for you. i hope when you get a daughter someday, she won’t go through the same feeling once she gets a boyfriend. it’s the least i can wish for you.

Hey...!! Mi Vida i still love you even though you hurt me

i hate how i have developed a false loud rowdy “impulsive” persona to prevent people from getting bored of me and leaving. i wish someone would grab my shoulders and shake some sense into me. i am in no way like this at all. i plan out everything i do, i think before i speak and act. i purposely choose to do the funny things that will get people’s reaction. i wish i wasnt like this. i wish someone would call me out for it and tell me everything is fine and they dont leave me just because im boring and that they like me for who i am. i also feel like everyone hates me and would act weirdly if i suddenly stopped acting like this. i just didn’t have anything to say. what is there to say? one of these days i will run out of jokes to tell and risky things to do. when i do what will i do with myself? i feel like im a ball point pen. im useful (in this case its being funny) until im not. this is the one mask i cannot let go of, despite my desperate attempts. the mask is glued to my face, it’s my whole identity now. my friends, my partner, hell even strangers just see me with this mask. i want to rip this mask off my face but i cant. it’s become part of me. if i discard it then who am i? a aloof quiet random boy? sure i smile and laugh alot even without the mask but is it even worth it? should i just keep the mask on? i don’t know what to do.

When I was a kid, the future seemed so distant. Like I wouldn't even reach it. Then I blinked and now I'm living in it. I just want to be a kid again, it's so lonely here.

December 30, 2023 I was too busy thinking about how hard my life this year, how every bone in my body shivers in pain, that excruciating pain not by wounds or any physical pain but by how cruel the world can be. How my heart shrinks, how my mind play tricks on me. Worrying how will I be in the future, how will I be able to pull it off. How the world tries to end the beauty in life that’s left to point where i no longer live and feel alive. I never had a chance to celebrate the small wins and was too busy catering the pain, guilt, hatred in every aspect of my life and how I keep sabotaging myself. The guilt of having true friends yet still feel lonely and hopeless. The guilt of having faith in God yet still feel lost. The guilt of constantly thinking to end this life knowing there are people who still believes, continue to love and pray for you even from afar. Alaska’s word keeping me every god damn night “how will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?”. My mind keep telling me I deserve what I feel, I blamed myself for what I’ve become. Alaska’s answer to the question is to “forgive”, but how? How can I forgive myself? I blamed my parents and hated God for this life. Anger, envy eats my soul. All the bad thoughts came over me, I might not look like depressed but I am. I don’t know what this new year holds but I’m trying to light this tiniest hope I have in me.

Before, I fear that people would see me as too dramatic once I opened up to them, but now I am more concerned that if they comfort me, I won’t be able to give them the same sense of security that they gave me

I feel too comfortable with depression and am scared when going to thearpy I won't know how to live without it

Hi, kuya geloy!!! U inspire me so much, especially in times when no one believes in the things I can do. Hope someday, I will be good enough at the things I love. May God bless u.

Im tired of all of this is wish everything will be OK :>>>

I still don't understand how you can just stop being someone's soulmate.

I feel like everybody hears me, but nobody listens.

I wish I had fully healed from the wounds that were never entirely my fault. I hope I never become the kind of girl who keeps looking back at the past just to reopen old pain. I want to someday say that I’ve finally healed, truly moved on, and that the things that once hurt me no longer have the power to affect who I am.

My brother & I were close growing up & were the only other person that understood what struggles we faced at home & could vent to. As an adult I’ve been healing & cutting ties with abusive family & making boundaries. This journey has been extremely hard, but it’s been harder losing the connection with my trauma partner along the way. He has done some hurtful things toward me & it’s sad to not feel the bond in understanding we once had. I wish he could open his eyes to how bad things were/are & do the work, but I also know how heart breaking it can be & don’t wish that pain on him. I know it’s easier to stay blinded. I just hate we feel more like strangers now.

you walk around plagiarizing me. i wish i could take back everything i’ve taught you. all of the knowledge, all of the music, all of the kindness, all of the art. this is the first time i regret letting someone leave with pieces of me.

I’m tired of people making mental illness their defining personality trait.

There’s so many things, I wanted to say to you. But the words get stuck in my throat. I don’t know why maybe because if I say them to you there real and I will have to admit how horrible I felt when you broke my heart. I don’t want to face you

I don’t tell anyone how I’m really doing because I’m ashamed I let things get so bad again. I think the people around me are just as sick of me struggling as I am.

maybe i’m easier to love from a distance.

Sometimes if I jump up and down and shake my hands for a few seconds, I force a little courage back into my heart

I just want to be someones favorite, to be wanted. I hope that isn't too selfish

i miss when i didn’t care about others’ perceptions of me. now i feel like i’m an empty vessel who bases her self-esteem on others’ opinions of her.

why do i have to feel like a complete stranger in my own home, ive grown up being the lonely child with no emotional support from my parents. they’ve always think that i can manage myself cause im the oldest sibling, but ive always wanted to have someone who can say “are u okay?”—someone who would check on me to see if i still want to live, someone who will understand me. i just wish my parents were better for me :D

To my Miguel, I love you so much that I forgot how to love myself the same way. I gave you every piece of me without realizing that I was slowly losing myself in the process. Even when things hurt, even when I feel broken, my heart still chooses you. Maybe that’s the saddest part of all — loving someone so deeply while silently falling apart inside.

I lost my mother to my own identity and it hurts. I used to be her rock and now I'm the source of all her problems. Why did I have to come out to her?

I hope you know i loved you, and i never wanted to let you go. I dream about you every night and day.

December 30, 2023 I was too busy thinking about how hard my life this year, how every bone in my body shivers in pain, that excruciating pain not by wounds or any physical pain but by how cruel the world can be. How my heart shrinks, how my mind play tricks on me. Worrying how will I be in the future, how will I be able to pull it off. How the world tries to end the beauty in life that’s left to point where i no longer live and feel alive. I never had a chance to celebrate the small wins and was too busy catering the pain, guilt, hatred in every aspect of my life and how I keep sabotaging myself. The guilt of having true friends yet still feel lonely and hopeless. The guilt of having faith in God yet still feel lost. The guilt of constantly thinking to end this life knowing there are people who still believes, continue to love and pray for you even from afar. Alaska’s word keeping me every god damn night “how will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?”. My mind keep telling me I deserve what I feel, I blamed myself for what I’ve become. Alaska’s answer to the question is to “forgive”, but how? How can I forgive myself? I blamed my parents and hated God for this life. Anger, envy eats my soul. All the bad thoughts came over me, I might not look like depressed but I am. I don’t know what this new year holds but I’m trying to light this tiniest hope I have in me.

It took me a while to recognize my burn out from academics. The pandemic affected my learning. It's not in my nature to be lazy and I know this whole thing isn't just an exhaustion. I want to recover and become a stellar student again. But I wonder if I'll have a redemption arc.

I wish i was brave enough to make myself feel better and not be depressed again

I wear so many faces, but the hard thing is none of them are fake

Sometimes I fear that mornings with me reminds you of how you first had it. Were you the happiest when it was her? Was it worth sharing for when it was her? Was complimenting her easier than it was for someone that looks beautiful optionally? Was mentioning her still give you the spark it once had?

Now that you got me, you don’t know what to do with me.